Have you ever heard of betrayal trauma and wondered if you might be experiencing it? I hadn’t until I watched a YouTube video that shed light on this often-overlooked trauma. It made me realize that I might carry some aspects of it myself. In this four-part series, we explore what betrayal trauma is, the factors that make someone vulnerable, the symptoms to watch for, and ways to begin healing. Welcome to part 3, where we focus on the devastating symptoms of betrayal trauma and the impact they can have on your life.
The first time many people learn about betrayal trauma can be eye-opening. It’s a type of trauma that often follows a difficult divorce and can lead to depression, confusion, and physical symptoms that feel overwhelming. Understanding the reasons behind these intense reactions is key to healing. In this post, I will uncover the symptoms of betrayal trauma and share how they affected me.
According to a site called Very Well Mind here are a few symptoms of Betrayal Trauma
- A feeling that you can’t move on, like you’re stuck. – At that time, and for years afterward, I felt unable to move forward, as if I were in a void, unsure how to find my way out.
- PTSD—I don’t believe I have it, but I did experience a flashback of intense emotion once. The feeling hit me hard, and I’m not sure what triggered it. The sadness washed over me briefly, but it was overwhelming.
- Depression — Depression can indeed be a symptom of betrayal trauma. Early in my divorce process, I developed clinical depression, something I had never experienced before. I was told it was situational depression, triggered by an unexpected betrayal. I took antidepressants for a couple of years, but fortunately, I was able to stop the medication and no longer struggle with depression.
- Anxiety — Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time, but during my divorce, I faced a level of anxiety unlike anything I’d known before. It was so intense that it even caused physical symptoms, like a burning sensation in my skin. Luckily, over the years, this anxiety has lessened significantly and, along with my depression, has gradually faded away.
- Dissociation — Dissociation is a coping mechanism the mind uses to manage overwhelming stress, often during traumatic events. It involves a disconnect in how your mind processes information, leading to feelings of detachment from your thoughts, emotions, memories, or surroundings. This can impact your sense of identity and alter your perception of time. While I may have been distracted at times, I don’t believe I experienced full dissociation.
- Trust Issues — I have no doubt that after experiencing betrayal, fully trusting again isn’t easy. Betrayal deeply impacts anyone’s ability to take trust at face value. However, I believe that over time, it is possible to rebuild trust and learn to trust again when the situation and person are right.
- Emotional Dysregulation and Difficulty Concentrating — Emotional dysregulation refers to experiencing overwhelming or poorly managed emotional responses. Difficulty concentrating was a major challenge for me early on. In fact, the entries in my first book were quite short, reflecting how hard it was to focus for long periods amidst the pain I was feeling.
- Physical Pain — Intense emotional pain can sometimes manifest as physical pain, and I experienced both.
- Substance Abuse — While I didn’t struggle with substance abuse, I did notice I was drinking more wine than usual. It’s easy to see how this can happen during stressful times.
- Eating Disorders — In the early days, I couldn’t eat much and quickly dropped from a size 10 to a size 4. Thankfully, I no longer struggle with this.
- Shame, Guilt, and Self-Blame — I didn’t struggle with shame or self-blame since the divorce was not my choice. The only guilt I felt was over our family being divided and concern about the pain and impact this would have on my children and grandchildren.
- Low Self-Esteem and Low Self-Worth — It’s easy to understand how low self-worth can develop when someone who promised to love and cherish you suddenly abandons you. While this can deeply affect a person’s confidence, I’m thankful this wasn’t something I struggled with.
- Mood Swings — I’ve never been a moody person, and I didn’t experience mood swings—unless you count the endless crying in the early weeks after my separation. Thankfully, those days are behind me, and now I’m living a happy, balanced life.
If you’re experiencing any of the symptoms I’ve described, you might be dealing with betrayal trauma. Seeking support is important, no matter how deeply you’ve been affected during your divorce. In the next post, we’ll explore strategies to help speed up your healing journey.
God Bless You on Your Journey
KathieyV