This is Part 3 in a Series called Betrayal Trauma. We have looked at Part 1-What is Betrayal Trauma and Part 2 The Causes of Betrayal Trauma? This week we will look at a few symptoms that are commonly exhibited when you are a victim of this trauma.
I remember the first time I listened to a podcast on Betrayal Trauma. While listening, I realized that I was a victim. I had struggled to get over my divorce. I developed depression that needed treatment, life no longer made sense, and I had no reason that I could find to move on. I had physical symptoms that I did not understand. It took me 10 years to begin to crawl out of the mess I found myself in, and I asked myself why? After listening to the video, I understood why. It was Betrayal Trauma. I fit that category of trauma. I will let you know which of these symptoms were my symptoms.
According to a site called Very Well Mind here are a few symptoms of Betrayal Trauma
- Feel they can’t move on when faced with a betrayal-yes I struggled with the feeling that I could not move on and also I did not want to move on.
- PTSD-I don’t believe I have this but I did have a flashback of emotion once. The emotion hit me hard and I don’t know what triggered it. The sadness flooded me for just a brief moment but it was intense.
- Depression-I developed clinical depression early in the process. It was a situational depression and has no I am glad to say gone.
- Anxiety-I had constant anxiety. This slowly faded but in the beginning was very intense.
- Dissociation-Dissociation is one way the mind copes with too much stress, such as during a traumatic event.Dissociation is a break in how your mind handles information. You may feel disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, memories, and surroundings. It can affect your sense of identity and your perception of time. -I may have had a form of this but I am not sure.
- Trust Issues-I have not doubt that I will not be able to fully trust after my betrayal.
- Emotional Dysregulation and Difficulty Concentrating-Dysregulation is defined as “any excessive or otherwise poorly managed mechanism or response.”Difficulty Concentrating”-This was a very big problem in the beginning. In my first book all entries are very short which displayed my inability to focus very long periods of time. I was in too much pain.
- Physical Pain-I did have physical pain.
- Substance Abuse-I did not struggle with substance abuse. I did drink more wine then was normal for me. I can see how this would easily happen.
- Eating Disorders-In the early days I could not eat. I went from a size 10 quickly to a size 4.
- Shame and guilt and self blame-I did not struggle with this. The only guilt I had was the guilt that our family was divided and I was worried about the pain and poor example that would affect both my children and my grandchildren.
- Low self esteem and low self worth-I can see how low self-worth could come into play. When a person that has promised to love and cherish you suddenly throws you away it could damage your self-esteem and self worth. I did not struggle with this.
- Mood Swings-I did not have mood swings unless you count endless crying in the beginning and for weeks.
If you are struggling with the symptoms I have listed you may have betray trauma. It is good to seek help no matter what level you have had to endure during your divorce. Next time we will talk about possible ways to speed up the healing process.
God Bless You on Your Journey