I know many of us who are going through a divorce or have already gone through a divorce have been hit with a lot we may not understand. We may not understand the jargon used in the legal system, we may be new to online dating, and the list goes on and on. With this in mind, I thought I would start a series called “What the Heck is…”. Here, I will briefly describe what may be an unknown term, action, or event. Remember that I am not an expert, but I know this based on my experience and what I have found in the literature online.
What the Heck is Mediation?
Mediation is a means of reaching an agreement with the help of a neutral third party. It is a guided conversation to help settle a legal dispute. The third party is called the mediator. The mediator’s goal is to help the parties reach a resolution. The mediator does not decide the outcome.
The parties at odds work with the mediator, typically with the help of their attorneys. The mediator oversees the exchange of information from both parties and helps the parties bargain to hopefully reach a common ground.
Mediation is typically less expansive and less formal than litigation. In mediation, you are responsible for your attorneys’ fees and half of the mediator’s fees.
As an added note, every state has different laws, so I am sure mediation laws vary from state to state.
My experience…
Yes, my ex and I did go to mediation. My attorney was with me, and I was allowed to bring someone for support. We met for the mediation at my attorney’s office. I was in one room with my attorney, and my friend and my ex were in another room with his attorney. The mediator, a lawyer, went from room to room to share information and discuss possible outcomes. This was an all-day, exhausting event. We started early in the morning and went into the early evening.
My suggestions are based on my experience…
*Bring a supportive friend.
*Request not to be in a room with your ex. My attorney ensured we did not come in contact when entering the office, leaving the office, and during the mediation process.
*Be strong; don’t be worn down. If I could go back, I would have fought harder. As the hours ticked on, I became more fatigued. I think I gave in due to my emotional exhaustion. I would advise myself if I could go back, “When you know you are right, don’t give up the FIGHT!!”
I hope this helps you better understand the term mediation.
God Bless You on Your Journey!
KathieyV