Betrayal Trauma Part ll, What are The Conditions that Set You Up for Betrayal Trauma

What are the Conditions that Can Set Someone Up to Become a Victim of Betrayal Trauma?

I just started a four-part series on Betrayal Trauma.  Just what is it, what conditions set you up to be a victim of betrayal trauma, what are the symptoms, and are there ways to help people recover quicker from this type of trauma?

In part one of this series called What is Betrayal Trauma, we looked at its definition.  Here is a review..

First, let’s review just “what is betrayal trauma?”…

Here is what David Jone’s therapy had to say about it…

For some people, divorce will be one of the most traumatic events in their life. Divorce, and the events leading up to it, can cause a deep sense of betrayal. As a result, it can leave you with betrayal trauma, an emotional wound that may fill your world with confusion, chaos, and heartache.

Betrayal trauma differs vastly from other types of trauma because it involves not just the experience of abuse but also the experience of being betrayed by a critical relationship, such as a parent, caregiver, guardian, significant other, or another individual who is relied upon for support and safety.

Betrayal trauma is the result of the violation of a profound attachment, where there has been abuse or neglect of an individual who depends on that attachment for their safety and well-being. (Mind well NYC)

Betrayal trauma refers to the pain and emotional distress that occurs when a trusted institution, loved one, or intimate partner violates someone’s trust. Betrayal trauma may occur alongside gaslighting and lead to anxiety and depression.

What can set you up to be a victim of this trauma?

As a certified sex addiction therapist and a member of the American Counseling Association, I (Allan) have seen firsthand that betrayal trauma is real. The shock is debilitating for betrayed partners and can last for years. Their lives are broken to pieces, and they are overwhelmed with shame, often thinking, “How could I be so stupid not to realize what was happening right under my nose? I’m such a fool for trusting him/her.” They feel they are going crazy.

What causes Betrayal Trauma?

Here are just a few causes.

A violated trust by someone you rely on and someone you thought cared about you.

Breach of trust from someone you love


Spousal neglect or rejection

These are just a few causes of betrayal trauma, but there are many more.  If you think you are a victim of this trauma, you are not alone. Hang in there.  Realize you may need counseling to help you through.

Next time we will talk about possible symptoms of betrayal trauma.

God bless you on your journey.  

Remember you are not alone, and God walks beside you.