Is it okay to swear when you’re going through a rough time like a divorce? And does God really judge us for using those words? The truth is, it depends on who you ask. Everyone has their own take on swearing, especially when emotions are running high. In this post, let’s answer the question, from the perspective of the Divorce Lady: “Will I be judged for swearing?”
I know that going through the stress and pain of a divorce may make you want to swear and swear often. Here is how I feel about swearing…
When I was a kid, swearing in front of my parents meant big trouble. This trouble often led to a scolding or an old-fashioned spanking. If my mom was disciplining, it meant paddling with the dreaded spatula; if it was my dad, the wallop would come with the belt. Either way, it was distressing and definitely held back my progress in mastering the art of cursing.
Keep in mind, the words that got me into the most trouble were “fart” and “God”—not too bad by today’s standards, but definitely off-limits in my childhood home. That said, our house wasn’t completely profanity-free. My dad was an expert swearer and could have taught it as a second language. My mom would utter one or two of her favorite off-color words when frustrated, but it was rare.
I don’t mind a swear word here and there. In literature or on the big screen, it’s often used for emphasis and can help drive a point home. However, when the “F” word pops up every other sentence, I start to question the speaker’s education, and the word quickly loses its impact. I was watching a movie recently that overused that word—it came up multiple times in almost every sentence. I had to turn it off because I stopped hearing the story and only noticed the constant swearing.
For me, swearing is a rare occurrence. Don’t get me wrong—I do say a swear word now and then, but it’s not my usual habit. I once let the “F” word slip during a frustrating moment when my kids were teens, and it surprised both me and my daughter. We just stood there in stunned silence, shocked and surprised, and we forgot what had us upset in the first place.
So, is swearing good for you? Some would say yes on occasion. One article says, “The emotional release from swearing has been measured in a variety of ways. It turns out that swearing helps mitigate pain.”
My use of swear words did not increase with the pain of divorce. However, what made me feel understood was one person in my life using a swear word for the person who caused my pain. This person was a church member where my ex and I pastored. She would use this derogatory term in reference to my ex, and it made me feel understood. I was thankful every time she said it—and she said it a lot.
In conclusion, is it okay to utter the occasional swear word? From my perspective, the answer depends entirely on you and your mindset. Does God judge you for speaking the occasional swear word? I would say no, because that would make God petty—and He is not.
Take Care, and I will see you next time when you Ask the Divorce Lady.
God Bless you on this *&%$ journey:-)
Kathiey V.