I was reading an article by Dr. Karen Finn that I found on Your Tango titled 24 Ridiculous Divorce Lies You Should Never, Ever Believe .
As I was reading her thoughts I decided to choose 3 “lies” that I could relate to…
1-“It takes one year for every four years of marriage to get over your divorce” Karen Finn
I am so glad that this is a lie. I was married for 37 years. That means it would take me nearly ten years to recover. It has been four years since my husband left. I am doing much better. Am I completely recovered? No. I am over him but not the betrayal. That will take a bit more time, at least for me. I think everyone’s journey is different.
2-“You’ll get over your divorce quicker if you just avoid thinking about it.” Karen Finn
In this section, Karen mentions health problems, anorexia, and anxiety attacks. Yes, I struggled with all of the above in the beginning. The emotional pain was so intense that I did have issues with anxiety and depression, which I never had in the past. One of Karen’s “24 lies about divorce” is that everyone who goes through a divorce will have depression. Luckily that is not true. Although, I am one who now knows how terrible depression is. The upside is that I can now relate to folks, on some level, who struggle with depression.
I believe you do have to think your divorce and do your best to deal with it. I think to move on you have to be honest with yourself and others. For me, I hope I can use my experience to help people on the same path. That is why I share my story to let people know they are not alone.
3- “There is something wrong with you if you feel like part of you died when your marriage ended” Karen Finn
I agree with Karen this is an absolute lie. When you have been betrayed by the one that promised you and God that he would love you forever, it is like part of you died. Here is my quote…
“Divorce is like a death but with intent” KathieyV
Thank you Karen for your insight. You are helping many of us as we navagate our new lives. I am excited to move on to a better and happier life:-)