If you’ve been through a divorce, whether it was a long marriage or just a short one, jumping back into the dating scene can feel like a whole new world—sometimes one you never expected to enter. If you’re online dating or just starting to date again, it’s super important to keep your eyes open and protect yourself. Today, I want to talk about some common red flags that might mean the man you’re seeing is actually married or already in a relationship.
Let’s start by looking at some facts uncovered through a quick Google search about lies on dating sites. Studies suggest that a significant number of men on these platforms—up to 67% of those who admit to deception—misrepresent their relationship status. In fact, about 70% of men may lie about different aspects of themselves, with hiding an existing marriage or relationship being a common tactic. Research shows that many men using dating apps aren’t truly single, and some even claim to be “separated” or “getting a divorce” as a way to mask ongoing marriages, as many users have noted on Reddit.
I’ve put together a list of six red flags that might suggest you’re dating a married man. While there are certainly more warning signs out there, these six stood out to me as some of the most telling. Let’s dive in and take a closer look.
1 – He Has Two Cell Phones: While some people legitimately carry two phones for work and personal use, a cheating spouse might use one for their everyday life and another for a secret one. Pay attention if he frequently steps away to take calls—it could be a major red flag.
2 – He Calls You From Odd Locations: If the man you’re dating frequently calls from places like grocery stores, gas stations, or car dealerships, don’t just assume it’s innocent. While sometimes it might be, for a married man, these unusual locations can make it easier to hide conversations from a spouse or live-in partner.
3 – He’s Less Available on Weekends: If the man you’re dating seems to disappear or is less available on weekends—and it’s not because of work—it could be a red flag. Weekends are often reserved for a spouse or live-in partner. So, if he’s free from work but still can’t make time for you, it might be a sign he’s married.
4 – He Pays for Everything in Cash: You might notice a pattern where, every time you go out, he insists on paying with cash. While paying cash occasionally isn’t unusual, if it happens all the time, it could raise some eyebrows. A man hiding an affair often wants to avoid creating any record of dinners or hotel stays that his partner could discover.
5 – He Can Only See You at Odd Hours: If he only wants to meet on his schedule—usually odd hours or at the last minute—it could be a sign that he is married or in another relationship, controlling when you can spend time together. Unlike most couples who enjoy dinners or daytime coffee, your guy’s meetings tend to be secretive and hurried. If you have an intimate relationship, he often leaves right afterward and rarely spends evening hours with you, and when he does, it’s for a short time.
6 – He Never Invites You to His Home but Prefers Meeting at Yours: If a man never invites you to his place, it could be a major red flag. This behavior often suggests he’s hiding something—perhaps his relationship status, a complicated living situation, or simply that he’s not interested in a serious or committed relationship.
Suddenly realizing the person you’ve been seeing is married or in a relationship can leave you feeling hurt, shocked, and betrayed. You may have cared for him deeply, but my advice is to end the relationship for your own emotional well-being. If he has already lied or deceived you, chances are he may do it again—and it’s important not to cause harm to his spouse or partner, who is the innocent party. Once you’ve confirmed the facts, take the step to end things, cut contact, block his number, and focus on yourself. It’s painful, but prioritizing your self-care and knowing your worth—which is far greater than being an afterthought in a married man’s life—is the best way to protect yourself from deeper hurt. Take it as a hard lesson learned and move forward with strength.
God Bless You On Your Journey!
KathieyV