There’s a hot question buzzing around TikTok: “What 3 things would you grab if you got divorced?” The answers range from the sensible to the totally petty—and some even made me do a double take. In this post, I’m taking a look at all the typical, the spiteful, and the downright surprising responses. Plus, I’ll share what I would have said back in my early divorce days… and what I’d say now with a little more wisdom.
Divorce isn’t pretty—there’s no denying that. Sometimes it’s necessary, sometimes it’s not. Recently, I came across a post asking, “What three things would you take with you in a divorce?” and it got me thinking, which is always dangerous.
Let’s start by considering the attorney’s perspective. They’d likely advise you to gather more than just three items, but here are some of the most important: financial documents; personal information like Social Security numbers, contact details, birth certificates, and passports; and any legal papers you have, such as court orders, wills, powers of attorney, and insurance policies, to name a few.
When divorce comes unexpectedly, it’s no surprise that people don’t always know what to grab first. I’ve watched some TikTok videos where folks answer this question off the cuff, clearly thinking on their feet. Here are a few of the typical answers—mostly about the things they definitely didn’t want to part with!
- The dogs
- The cat
- The kids
- The Jeep
- My computer
- My truck
- The X-Box
- Me, myself, and I
- Legos
- My horse, my whiskey and my gun
I was okay with most of the responses until the vindictive ones started popping up. It was unsettling to hear partners who seemed focused only on hurting the person they say they love, making me really question what that love meant. Here are just a few of the less pleasant replies I came across.
- All the screws out of everything.
- The lenses out of your glasses.
- All your makeup so you would look bad.
- My freedom and my money.
- Technically you don’t own s&%@#t.
One response that caught my attention when men were asked what three things they would take in a divorce was a man who simply said, “Your life.” Words like that made me want to keep my distance. It was surprising—and a little unsettling—how often such replies appeared in the videos I watched. Some of the attitudes expressed were concerning, and for some women, these could be important warning signs to think carefully about their relationships. The seriousness in many of these comments was hard to ignore, reminding us how crucial it is to recognize red flags and prioritize our safety and well-being.
On the flip side, there were some truly heartfelt answers from men who clearly loved their wives and focused on their partner’s well-being rather than their own. Those women are truly blessed to have such caring partners. Many of these men seemed surprised—and even a bit overwhelmed—by the question. Some were silent, while others looked like the thought alone could bring tears, showing just how deeply they valued their relationship. These are the men who truly cherish and protect their loved ones. Here are a few of their touching responses.
- I would not take anything I am not going anywhere.
- I would take you.
- I don’t even know, I would probably be crying my eye balls out.
- I’d take you back.
- You and my two kids
- The kids my house and you.
- I would take all of your stuff so you would have to come with me.
- Come on babe we don’t say that word in our house you are stuck with me forever.
When I found out my husband was leaving, shock was the overwhelming emotion. The news came unexpectedly—not from him, but through a letter from a divorce attorney. In that moment, all I wanted was to rewind time and save our marriage. I even wrote him a letter, letting him know I was willing to fight for us. I shared the same mindset as the man who once said, “Come on, babe, we don’t say that word in our house—you’re stuck with me forever.” But in my case, the story didn’t end that way. In essence, at that moment, if asked what I would take with me in a divorce, my answer would have been nothing, because I wanted to fight for this marriage.
If I were asked that question today, years later, my answer would be very different. Sure, the legal documents and the essentials needed to move forward are important—at one point, keeping the house mattered to me, but that significance has faded. Now, the three things I’d truly take are deeply personal: my faith, the time to rebuild my life, and my sense of self. Looking back and knowing what I know today, I would never push anyone to stay with me, because you can’t force someone to stay, and I wouldn’t waste my time trying. In a nutshell, I would take my life back.
When you think about the three most important things to take with you after a divorce, remember everyone’s answer will be different. Things like your age, your health, your finances, and even where you are in your journey all impact what matters most. What feels important today might change over time, and that’s okay. It’s a personal process, so take a moment to consider—what are the three things you’d want to hold on to as you move forward?
God Bless You On Your Journey!
KathieyV-The Divorce Lady:-)