I see the unexpected abandonment by my husband as a storm. A category five hurricane that entered my life. The entire process turned my life, my emotions, my dreams, and the expectations of my future upside down.
For me, divorce was probably worse than a storm because, in most cases, in a storm, the damage can be cleared away and life can return to normal. That is not the case with divorce. Yes, you can develop a new normal that can be wonderful but in the process of divorce, you may not be able to see the light of a new and wonderful life. All that you may see is darkness, no hope, loss of dreams, and a future.
That being said there is a large majority of people going through divorce that become depressed. I was one of them, and luckily I can say I did come through it to reach a better place.
When my husband left me unexpectedly after 37 years of marriage I was shocked and confused. That shock and confusion turned to despair, fear, and depression. I cried nearly all day every day, I could not sleep, I could not eat, and my skin literally burned. I lost weight, from a size 10 to a size 4 in just a few weeks. I found myself no longer wanting to live. I later found out I had what is called situational depression.
I spoke with a friend who said that when you are sad for a period of time you can develop depression. The sadness can actually change the neurotransmitters in your brain. She said I needed to get some help. I did go to my family Dr. and I was given antidepressants. Over time they did help.
Here is an interesting article on “The number one cause of depression” yep according to the video it is divorce.
There were many things that helped me come out, somewhat whole, on the other side of an unwanted divorce. One was listening to my doctor and taking the antidepressants. I forced myself to go out with friends, I vented to everyone who would listen, I journaled and exercised. I kept my daily routine to the best of my ability.
I think the major thing that helped me through was my faith. In my lifetime I do believe that is the closest I have felt to God. My faith became my rock. I talked to God consistently, I read devotionals and my bible, and I listened to Christain music and it gave me hope.
If you are going through this horrible trauma and you feel yourself sinking deeper and deeper into despair I would say “don’t give up”! Hold tightly to your faith and your friends, see a Dr. or a therapist and over time you will be able to see the light of hope and love again. I know I have seen that light. Even though I have been damaged I am happy and thankful for my life.
I love this video by Tony Evans. I remember listening to it years ago and it gave me hope
and I hope it does the same for you.
God Bless You
KathieyV
When our lives take unexpected turns those moments become what define us. I believe it’s up to us if to say if they make us stronger or weaker. Thanks for the inspiration. I had no idea that divorce was the number one reason for depression!
Hi AP2, There are probably many other reasons for depression but divorce is the reason I became depressed. It seems that at least in the video that is what he has found. For me initially, it made me weaker but I think if you fight through you can become a much stronger and independent person. I hope you are doing well and thanks for your comment:-)
Hi Kathiey – Thanks for replying. I think these things always makes us weaker initially. Certainly plenty of reasons for depression – my own stemmed from being bullied/having low self esteem. That made me weaker for years. Having come through it after many difficult months in therapy I look back and can say I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s made me far more resilient than I ever was. I just had to climb a mountain to get here. Thanks again. I was pleased to hear how you also preserved over the long run. I think this can inspire others who may currently be suffering. Wishing you all the best. AP2
I am glad you are doing well AP2. It is definitally a mountain but we can come out better the other side. Take care and keep in touch:-)