Below you will find an expert from the book I am working on currently. My first book, “My Story. My Divorce, God’s Promise – The Beginning”, has to do with the pain I experienced during the initial phase of my separation and pending divorce. The book I am working on now, “My Story, My Divorce, God’s Promise – The Journey,” focuses on the Journey through a divorce. In other words, some advice on how to move forward. In this book, the focus begins with just being able to breathe and ends with forgiveness.
I remember lying in bed, not able to sleep, unable to stop crying, feeling both emotional and physical pain to the point where my skin burned.
I would search online for a lifeline, some way out of this feeling of emptiness. One way many people would attempt to squelch stress and emotional pain was through breathing exercises. So I tried it. I tried diaphragmatic/belly breathing techniques that I found online. I remember breathing in slowly through my nose, then holding my breath for a few seconds, and slowly breathing out through my mouth. I had heard this type of breathing can help you relax and lower your heart rate and blood pressure. For me, it was a much-needed distraction.
Did the breathing exercises take away my pain? When my pain was so extreme in the early days, it was a bit like putting a bandaid on a stab wound. However, it did help in the way of a distraction. I have found over time that I still use this technique, and I can feel some of the stress that I am feeling slip away, at least momentarily.
Breathing exercises are something I would recommend to people who are under a lot of stress. It is easy to go online and find many techniques for breathing to relieve stress and anxiety.
I recall one story of deep breathing exercises that a man used. He trained himself to breathe in through one nostril at a time and out through the other. I don’t think I mastered this technique, but I do remember lying in bed one night in the depths of despair, attempting to breathe in through one nostril and out through the other, and this momentarily took away my pain through distraction. These techniques of slowing my breathing probably helped me physically by lowering my heart rate and blood pressure.
“No one ever told me grief felt so much like fear.”
More to come…