It may difficult to know what to do or who to listen to when you are going through the trauma of a divorce. It is unknown territory with unknown consequences. After finding an attorney, you trust, let your attorney guide you through the divorce process.
When you are going through a divorce, your emotions are high, and you may find yourself in a fog, a state of shock, so the ability to make the necessary decisions may elude you. For me to merely breathe, each day was an accomplishment, how was I supposed to make the decisions required to get me through the divorce process.
As I look back now, after carefully selecting an attorney that I felt I could trust, I should have let her have complete control. Her guidance came from a place of knowledge and experience. I believe now if we don’t listen to advice based on this knowledge and experience, we may sabotage our case.
My attorney’s specialty was divorce, so she knew the ropes and had many sound suggestions for me. I followed most of them. I hired a PI, and I hired digital forensics to explore an old computer, I gave her permission to send letters to the women in my husband’s life and my ex warning them not to destroy any evidence they may have on their computers or phones. She wanted to confront some of the people in the church where my ex had been a pastor. I pulled the reigns back then because I felt I had an obligation to the people that were in our congregation. Looking back, I think that was a foolish decision. I wish I would have listened.
She wanted to push for more alimony, and she tried to push for an increase in the distributive award, but I got tired and just wanted to be removed from the lengthy and expensive legal process. Foolish move on my part. I wish I would have listened.
If you trust your attorney enough to write the massive check to retain them I believe, at least in my case, you should take steps to trust them.
I am sure there are lawyers out there that should not be trusted. If we do our research and trust who we hire, I say, trust them all the way and let them do their job.
If you are going through this painful process I am sorry.
You will make it through one tiny step at a time.