To say I was shocked and deeply hurt and angry does not begin to sum up the flood of emotions I felt that night. Shocked and deeply hurt that he would do this to our family. Angry on so many levels at the unnecessary pain this would cause everyone.
I found out on June 4 of his plan to destroy our family. I wrote this letter on June 6, 2013. I can remember how I felt late that night typing this letter….
I am really sorry you are so sad. You say you have “never” been happy but there has to have been sometime in 37 years that you have been happy.
Do you realize that you are not happy in anything?
In your job you are stressed, everybody lying to everyone, people sneaking around not being honest. No trust. Not a good situation.
The same thing is happening with your family. Everyone upset, people hiding things, talking about each other behind each others backs. Not a good situation. I think if you could help your mom to focus on the positive, that it may make her happy in her final years. You can’t recapture the past. Wishing she would have left him years ago will not make her happy in the now. I don’t think it would have made her happy then. She was very unhappy being separated from him, I remember those days.
In our marriage the same thing is happening. No openness or honesty. Going to see counselors and lawyers without a word to me. You say you are not happy. There has been no attempt to improve our marriage. I have been asking for literally years that we try to develop a base of friends, that we find something in common that we can do together. It has not been a priority. If these things are important they need to be worked on. I may see you 10 minutes a day if at all. Not a good situation.
(I do realize that you have taken my picture out of your office and replaced them with your old childhood photos. Pictures of your siblings, which have never made you happy either. People you have told me you never want to see again when your mom passes. Kinda hurt me and makes me wonder just where your head is)
You say you are trying to be happy. So you put in the garden to make you happy. You are never in the garden.
You put in the man cave to make you happy. You are never in the man cave.
We are developing a beautiful home, you only sleep here.
Instead of a counselor that sits around and bashes your marriage and tries to get you to legally separate from your wife. Lets try one that builds up the family. One where we don’t rehash the past, because we all have our issues, but one that puts focus on a happy present and future. I will find one if you are interested. We do have a lot to be happy for. If you would just take the time to look around.
I think our marriage is worth fighting for. But, it will take honesty, no more sneaking around. It takes positivity and effort. Which I am willing attempt, if you are.
I wish you could have been in church on Sunday. He spoke to the beauty around us. That, in itself, should make us happy. I did a blog post on it….http://kathieysworld.blogspot.com/2013/06/monday-morning-motivationshow-me-sign.html
I hope we can attempt to salvage this relationship. We now have a bit more money and can do the things that we said we have always wanted to do. Vacations with the family and together. Family holidays and gatherings at our home. All wonderful things. We could actually find something in common that we could enjoy together. We could watch Caleb grow up and he could always be welcome at NaNa and PaPa’s. Life could be good. You know what, it already is. But, I don’t know if you can see that?
I do love you and I am not exactly why you are doing this now.
I will see you at 10am
I never got a reply. His mind was made up.
My story….to be continued…