The Beginning, Surviving Divorce “Just Breathe”

I cannot adequately describe the pain of an unwanted divorce, but I can explain the effect, at least the impact it had on me. I remember lying in bed, not able to sleep, unable to stop crying, feeling both emotional and physical pain to the point where my skin literally burned.

During this time, I would search online for a lifeline, some way out of this feeling of painful emptiness. One way many people would attempt to squelch stress, and emotional pain was through breathing exercises. So I tried it. I tried diaphragmatic/belly breathing techniques that I found online. I remember breathing in slowly through my nose, then holding my breath for a few seconds and then slowly breathing out through my mouth. They say this type of breathing can help you relax and lower your heart rate and blood pressure. For me, it was a much-needed distraction. 

Did it take away my pain? Maybe, just a tiny bit, but not so much in the early days when my anxiety was extreme. A bit like putting a bandaid on a stab wound. It did help in that it was a distraction —a way to briefly diminish the anxiety that was spinning in my mind and my body. I have found over time that I still use this technique, and I can feel some of the stress that I am feeling at the time slip away at least momentarily.

Breathing exercises are something I would recommend to people who are under a lot of stress. It is easy to go online and find the many techniques for breathing to relieve stress and anxiety. 

I recall one story of deep breathing exercises that a man used. He trained himself to breathe in through one nostril at a time and out through the other. I don’t think I mastered this technique, but I do remember lying in bed one night in the depths of despair attempting to breathe in through one nostril and out through the other, and it momentarily took away my pain through distraction. These techniques of slowing my breathing probably helped me physically, too, by lowing my heart rate and blood pressure.

If you are going through the pain of divorce and you need a momentary distraction to give breathing exercises a try.  I sure can’t hurt.

God bless you on this journey.

Always remember God’s Promise

“I will never leave you or forsake you”