My Thoughts on “Have You Embraced Your Divorce?” by Vikki Ziegler



771c1-dscn00842bas2bsmart2bobject-1I just read an article from Huff Post, “Have You embraced Your Divorce” by Vikki Ziegler.

Here is a quote from her writings…

“So you’ve accepted your divorce. Good for you. That’s a huge step, and you should feel proud. Now I have a question: Have you embraced your divorce? “Embrace my what?” you may be thinking. “Why would I ever want to do that?”.” Vikki Ziegler

My thoughts….

It took me a while to accept my pending divorce.  My X had been seeing a divorce attorney and had filed for legal separation without a word to me.  After 37 years of marriage, how could I accept this?  I married a man that was a pastor for over 20 years and who swore to God to love and to cherish me till death do us part.  I ask again, “How could I accept this?”.  It went against everything I believed; it went against my hopes and dreams, it went against my promise to God, it went against my heart and my very being.

I struggled for a long time to reinvent my new life, A life I did not choose.  Amazingly though after four years of taking one baby step at a time, I have embraced my divorce.  The divorce was final in Feb 2017.  I am still reinventing my life, and I am happy.  I like who I am, and I like who I am becoming.

Vikki says that we should re-evaluate our past and learn from it.  She suggests that going though this process is hard and that we should seek guidance from a therapist, clergyman, or a close friend.  (Sure won’t be a clergyman for me considering my X was one…..would you say I now have trust issues?  Go figure:-). My greatest help came from God and from my trusted friends.

After working on ourselves, she mentions dating.  Do I want to date?  That is a tough one.   I now realize I don’t need a man to be happy.  I would not mind developing male friendships. I am not actively searching.  I don’t want to make the same mistake again. All that I put in God’s hands, he knows best.

So I keep putting one foot in front to the other.  Not so much baby steps anymore but regular steps.  I am enjoying my life, my family, and my friends.  And yes, I am embracing my divorce.  Thanks for the article Vikki!