My Thoughts on “Have You Embraced Your Divorce?” by Vikki Ziegler



771c1-dscn00842bas2bsmart2bobject-1I just read an article from Huff Post, “Have You embraced Your Divorce” by Vikki Ziegler.

Here is a quote from her writings…

“So you’ve accepted your divorce. Good for you. That’s a huge step, and you should feel proud. Now I have a question: Have you embraced your divorce? “Embrace my what?” you may be thinking. “Why would I ever want to do that?”.” Vikki Ziegler

My thoughts….

It took me a while to accept my pending divorce.  My X had been seeing a divorce attorney and had filed for legal separation without a word to me.  After 37 years of marriage, how could I accept this?  I married a man that was a pastor for over 20 years and who swore to God to love and to cherish me till death do us part.  I ask again, “How could I accept this?”.  It went against everything I believed; it went against my hopes and dreams, it went against my promise to God, it went against my heart and my very being.

I struggled for a long time to reinvent my new life, A life I did not choose.  Amazingly though after four years of taking one baby step at a time, I have embraced my divorce.  The divorce was final in Feb 2017.  I am still reinventing my life, and I am happy.  I like who I am, and I like who I am becoming.

Vikki says that we should re-evaluate our past and learn from it.  She suggests that going though this process is hard and that we should seek guidance from a therapist, clergyman, or a close friend.  (Sure won’t be a clergyman for me considering my X was one…..would you say I now have trust issues?  Go figure:-). My greatest help came from God and from my trusted friends.

After working on ourselves, she mentions dating.  Do I want to date?  That is a tough one.   I now realize I don’t need a man to be happy.  I would not mind developing male friendships. I am not actively searching.  I don’t want to make the same mistake again. All that I put in God’s hands, he knows best.

So I keep putting one foot in front to the other.  Not so much baby steps anymore but regular steps.  I am enjoying my life, my family, and my friends.  And yes, I am embracing my divorce.  Thanks for the article Vikki!


Posted by

Hi, I am a mom, nana, and writer living in the beautiful state of NC. I was married for 37 years and then blindsided by my husband, a former pastor. After decades he filed for legal separation without a word to me. It has been a rough road coming to terms with this new life that has been chosen for me. My blog is a place where I share "The Beginning," this place I found myself, a place I did not want to be. "The Journey," the things we need to do as we traverse this new road. Lastly "The Joy," and yes there is still joy to be found even after great pain. I have finished my first book "My Story My Divorce God's Promise, The Beginning." I am in the process of writing The Journey and The Joy. Please join me on my adventure to a new life. Always remember God's Promise "I will never leave you or forsake you."

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