My Story My Divorce-The Beginning, The Separation Agreement

I remember the day my husband of 37 years handed me the separation agreement that he and his attorney had produced for me to sign.  At that time I was still trying to trust him because he told me I could, hoping that he had my best interest at heart.  Foolish? Yes!  Naive? Yes!  Stupid?  Yes!  Yes!

If I heard it once I heard it a thousand times from friends,  co-workers, and from folks who have been through it….”Don’t sign anything without an attorney.”  Even in my state of confusion and pain, I did listen to this sound advice.  If I could go back, I would have hired an attorney right away.  I was rather slow in this process, but I did, finally, hire an excellent attorney.

I remember the first thing she did was review the separation agreement my husband given me.  She shook her head.  She could see things written between the lines that I couldn’t begin to understand.  She could see he did not have my best interest at heart, and she questioned the third party protection found in the document.

One of the first lines that I highlighted in the document was “Whereas, as a result of certain irreconcilable differences and disagreements, husband and wife separated…”  Interesting, I was not aware of any.  (Although, upon discovery, I am aware of many now.) Yes, we had the typical problems of marriage, but I would never have guessed he would have chosen this for our family.

I have to take this sentence out of a very long run on sentence.  I think it is written like this to confuse us, so we don’t see the innuendo hidden within.  “…The husband and wife shall at all time hereafter live separate and apart…..for all intents and purposes as if they had never been married.”

How can you even begin to do that?  Married for 37 years, two children, a grandchild.  How can you live as though you have never been married?   How can you take 37 years out of your life as though it never happened?  I don’t believe you can, but I think you can learn from the experience and you can help others in the same situation.

So, if you, like I, have been discarded, thrown away as though nothing, please remember that God would never do that to you.  He loves you, and me, beyond anything we can comprehend.  He promised us and His promises are true “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

God Bless You!

KathieyV:-)

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Hi, I am a mom, nana, and writer living in the beautiful state of NC. I was married for 37 years and then blindsided by my husband, a former pastor. After decades he filed for legal separation without a word to me. It has been a rough road coming to terms with this new life that has been chosen for me. My blog is a place where I share "The Beginning," this place I found myself, a place I did not want to be. "The Journey," the things we need to do as we traverse this new road. Lastly "The Joy," and yes there is still joy to be found even after great pain. I have finished my first book "My Story My Divorce God's Promise, The Beginning." I am in the process of writing The Journey and The Joy. Please join me on my adventure to a new life. Always remember God's Promise "I will never leave you or forsake you."

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