My Divorce Journey-Looking Back To The Early Days, The Beginning, The Pain

I am looking back at the posts I made at the beginning of my divorce journey.  Here is one I wrote in the early weeks after my husband unexpectedly left me.  This was written on 7/29/13

Another rough week. I have learned that my situation can throw you into depression, which seems to have happened to me. I have had sorrow, sadness, and disappointment, but depression is an entirely different creature. Gives me respect for those living with this awful illness. I never realized an acute event could produce it. (I did go to the Dr).
I was reading Guideposts Magazine online and came across a quote from Julia Attaway that seemed to fit me…

“I’ve had a week straight out of Romans 8:26: “We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” There are times the heart hurts so much it is mute. 

Even so, I can still offer God what I have: my tears.

I can ask him to use my tears to water the seed of my faith so that I grow closer to Christ instead of drawing away. I can ask him to use my tears for good: to wash away someone else’s suffering. I can ask him to unite my tears to those that Jesus cried (John 11:25) to make me more like him. And finally, when suffering silences me, I can trust that the Lord will ask others to pray for my family and me and all who are hurting.” 

Julia Attaway

 Amen Julia! I can so relate to her words during this very difficult time in my life.  In my attempt to see beauty even in the pain and tears, I will share my time with my daughters and my grandson through pictures.  Even though I was in great pain at that time, there was beauty all around me.  Thank you, God, for opening my eyes to see it.

If you are traveling the painful road of divorce, remember God’s promise,  “I will never leave you or forsake you. Force yourself to find beauty even in the pain.  It is there!