Divorce in the News-“Divorce is Genetic”I say-Hogwash!
I was reading an article that speaks of the possibility that divorce may be genetic. I found the article on The Sacramento Bee Divorce May Be Genetic. The study focuses on families of divorce and the outcome of adopted children vs. biological children of the families going through a divorce. Most past studies have focused on the psychological aspects of divorce and the effects on children of divorce and their marriages.
You know what? I don’t believe it. I spent 37 years with a man who did nothing but condemned his father for the way he treated his mother. His father cheated on her numerous times with more than one partner, left her, and then divorced her. I was there during the initial days of her devastation; I remember the adverse effects on her and her children. (They did remarry many years later).
Well, lo and behold, even though my Ex voiced negative views of what his father had done to his family, he turned around and did much of the same to my family and me.
In my opinion, the fact that divorce could be genetic is hogwash. It is a moral and ethical decision. It is an action based, many times, on selfishness. To say it is genetic is akin to all the folks that have been caught in the many sex scandals in the news. They typically say, “it’s not my fault, I have a problem, I think I will go to rehab, and then everything will be ok.” To say lying, cheating, and divorce is genetic gives the marriage destroyers nothing but a candy-coated excuse. “Sorry, It’s not my fault. It’s genetic”. Hogwash!
I am not alone in my views. In The Daily Mail, I found some opinions on this topic. I thought I would share a few.
“I cannot understand how they think it can be genetic. If there is a family with a laisse fair attitude to divorce, any children will be brought up thinking it’s all no big deal. If a family is brought up to make an effort to preserve a marriage, or not to marry in haste, then children will make more effort too”.
“Who employs these fools?”
“There was a time when to make a promise before God would not be broken.”
(I do agree with divorce when cheating and abuse are involved, kv).
“Genetic? Genetic? That’s ridiculous! If there is a link, it’s probably, learned behavior like intolerance, disloyalty, or something like that. Genetic? Like a rogue gene? Never.”
I don’t believe divorce is always wrong. I believe it is the right thing to do if there is abuse or infidelity. But the reason being stated by many, “I am just not happy” does not seem a reasonable excuse. There are many phases in life where we find ourselves unhappy, and if we hold on, we again will return to happiness.
I would love to know what you think.