I was reading an article that speaks of the possibility that divorce may be genetic. I found the article on The Sacramento Bee Divorce May Be Genetic.
The study focuses on families of divorce and the outcome of adopted children vs. biological children of the families going through a divorce. Most past studies have focused on the psychological aspects of divorce and the effects on children of divorce and their marriages.
You know what? I don’t believe it. I spent 37 years with a man who did nothing but condemn his father for the way he treated his mother. His father cheated on her numerous times with more than one partner, left her, and then divorced her. I was there during the initial days of her devastation; I remember the adverse effects on her and her children. (They did remarry many years later). Well, lo and behold even through the voiced negative views of what his father had done to his family my husband did much of the same to my family and me.
In my opinion, the fact that divorce could be genetic is hogwash. It is a moral and ethical decision. It is an action based on selfishness. To say it is genetic is akin to all the folks that have been caught in the many sex scandals in the news. They typically say “it’s not my fault, I have a problem, I think I will go to rehab and then everything will be ok.” To say lying, cheating, and divorce is genetic gives the marriage destroyers nothing but a candy-coated excuse. “Sorry, It’s not my fault. It’s genetic”. Hogwash!
I am not alone in my views. In The Daily Mail, I found some opinions on this topic. I thought I would share a few.
“I cannot understand how they think it can be genetic. If there is a family with a laisse faire attitude to divorce any children will be brought up thinking its all no big deal. If a family is brought up to make effort to preserve a marriage, or not to marry in haste then any children will make more effort too”.
“Who employs these fools?”
“There was a time when to make a promise before God would not be broken”. (I do agree with divorce when cheating and abuse are involved, kv).
“Genetic? Genetic? That’s ridiculous! If there is a link it’s probably, learned behaviour like intolerance, disloyalty or something like that. Genetic? Like a rogue gene? Never.”
Interesting article. I would love to know what you think.