When I first was faced with an unwanted separation and unnecessary divorce I could not find the strength to watch TV shows or movies about divorce. I was in a bottomless pit, and I did not have the emotional strength to do so. Now, however, I soak in anything I can find on divorce whether it be fiction or non-fiction then compare my life with those going through many of the things I experienced.
I started watching Dr. Foster on Netflix. Dr. Foster is a loving wife, and mother and a well known and liked physician. Who would have thought this could happen to such a fantastic woman? But it did. Her world was about to crumble. All she had put her faith and trust in would come crashing down. She was unaware she was about to enter the world of the cheating, and lying spouse, which I am learning is not all that uncommon.
Early on in the first episode, you find Dr. Foster and the “man” she married making love as though all was right in the world. He would tell her of his deep love for her all the while he was living a double life. A life made up of lies.
Then she found her first sign, a long blond hair on a scarf and saw him with a tube of red lip gloss, which he professed was his. Now she was suspicious but also second-guessing herself; she so badly wanted to trust him (I too was second guessing myself). She thought about checking his phone but did not want to cross that line; I have been there also. Dr. Foster did finally check his phone.
Dr. Foster soon found her suspicions had merit. She knew now that he was having an affair but did not share her knowledge, at least not yet. She ended up at a party for her husband just after finding out the truth. He stood before the crowd, including the other woman, and professed his love to his wife saying, “I met Gemma and since then I have never looked back.” Oh, the many lies.
I say listen to your gut. It may not always be right, but many times it is.
I would be aware of phone calls out of earshot of you.
I hope you don’t have a husband who lies.
But if you find that you do remember that you are stronger then you think.