Ask the Divorce Lady-Dear Divorce Lady, Will I Be Judged for Swearing?

 Is it ok to swear?

Will God Judge Me For Swearing? 

The answer to that question would depend on who is answering that question. 

I know that going through the stress and pain of a divorce may make you want to swear and swear often. Here is how I feel about swearing…

When I was a kid, if I were to swear in the presence of my parents, it meant big trouble. The trouble may lead to a scolding or to an old-fashioned spanking. If my mom were doing the disciplining, it would be with the dreaded spatula, and if it were my dad, the wallop would come via the belt. Either way, it was distressing and kept me from moving forward in my cursing proficiency.  

Keep in mind the words that I used that led to the trouble were fart and god; not that bad in today’s society but wrong in my childhood home. That being said, my home was not profanity-free. My dad was very good at it, and my mom would say one or two of her favorite words when she was frustrated, but it was rare.

I see nothing wrong with a swear word here and there.  When used in literature or on the big screen, it may be used for emphasis, which does help get the point across.  Although when I hear it, every other word or sentence, I begin to question the educational level of the speaker, and the word also loses any power it may have had to get the point across.  I was watching a movie the other day, and the “F” word was constant. It seemed to be used in every sentence.  I had to turn the movie off.  I no longer heard the content of the story, only that awful word. 

For me personally, swearing is a rare occurrence.  Don’t get me wrong, I do say a swear word here and there, but like I said, it is not my norm.  I did use the “F” word once when my kids were teens.  I was so upset with one situation, that it just happened, that word popped out of my mouth, and I think it stunned both myself and my daughter as we stood there in shocked silence.  The use of this word from my lips was so unexpected that we stood there, mouths open, forgetting why I was upset to begin with.

So is swearing good for you?  Some would say yes on occasion.  One article says, “The emotional release from swearing has been measured in a variety of ways. It turns out that swearing helps mitigate pain.” 

My use of swear words did not increase with the pain of divorce.  Although, what made me feel understood was one person in my life using a swear word for the person that had caused the pain. This person was a member of the church where my ex and I pastored.  She would use this derogatory term in reference to my ex, and it made me feel understood.  I was thankful every time she said it, and she said it a lot.

In conclusion, is it ok to utter the occasional swear word? The answer, from my perspective, all depends on you and your mindset. Does God judge you for uttering the occasional swear word? I would say no because that would make God petty, and he is not. 

Take Care, and I will see you next time when you Ask the Divorce Lady.

God Bless you on this *&%$&*%# journey:-)

Kathiey V.