How many times have you heard someone going off about someone in a negative way? In your mind, you may be thinking, “Wait a minute, that can’t be right.” Or maybe you are listening to an ex-spouse saying how crazy his ex is, and you are taking it in at face value as fact. I would say wait before you judge, think again.
Many ex-spouses, especially narcissists, tend to say some pretty bad things about the ex in order to build themselves up or to make themselves look like the victim.
Here is what was said on Quora
“Talking bad about you validates him/her. A narcissist, at their core, are insecure and anxious with low self-esteem. All ex-partners are evidence of a failure. This is threatening to them on many levels, so they need everyone around them to know that the relationship failed because their partner was a bad partner.”
“Narcissists need to validate their failings by pinning blame on someone else.”
I found typical lies a narcissist tell about their spouse in an article called “Lies a Narcissist Will Tell About Exs.”
- He will tell you things that the ex-spouse did, but in reality, he did that to her.
- He may say the Ex trapped him into marriage or a relationship.
- He may say his Ex had a behavioral change toward them.
- He may say he was abused by the Ex in many negative ways such as cheating, abuse, and the list goes on. In reality, it was him who was doing those things.
- He will say the Ex is crazy when they are not.
- They may say the ex still wants them back when, in reality, that is not the case. They do this because it makes them look good, and in their mind, he may be saying, “My God, who would not want me?” GAG!
So next time you hear negative comments, stop and think before you judge someone as truthful or “crazy.” You may be listening to a victim or to an abuser.
God Bless you on this Journey!